the burden

HA!

life at least for me seems to be made up of pain, and pleasure.
not necessarily in that order, but hey its different for us all.

so i ask myself.

why is it that with all of this pleasure i still seem to feel out the pain of life?
i guess i need to define my pain, give it a face...

love lost on a girl long from my grasp
healing comes so very slow
the wounds of the heart are the hardest to operate on
without this profound death i wouldnt be the same

that is to say i once loved a girl very dearly. i basically put myself out there for her, but i suppose from the stresses of my seemingly perfect life i became disfigured, and beaten into some beast of a man that i previously wasnt.

love lost to lust
the passion of the paradigm of love lost on a single touch.

not to say it wasnt enjoyable for a time, however my thoughts of what a real love were short lived

killed by my ignorant erection.
severed by a desperate need to be loved.

gruesome indeed truthful none the less.
i loved a women more than my God. shameful to say the least.
a burden that i had to bear.

however being the generous God that he is,

giving me life when i didnt deserve it, things like that.

He has offered to bear the burden, in fact he was always there to bear it, but i being the ignorant man that i am didnt realize that.

until now that is.

so now, enter in the picture

a loving God

who in all honesty was always in the picture.

that i now admit to disregarding as nothing more than a fairytale from years long forgotten.

the one i love now isnt of this world,

though he created it
he loves it
died for it
will soon destroy it

i love a God more than anything on this earth...

that is not to say i dont love this earth, because dear friends i do.

i love everyone on the face of this earth
and would die for you all

however my death doesnt bring about anything but death.

his death brought about our spiritual resurrection from the dead.
he is my love,
he is all mine.

but strangely all yours as well.