here i am

i am tired. mentally, physically, emotionally... life is.. well, life is draining.

i've never felt this way about anyone... the way i feel about you is... is unusual. flings, sure... but this.. it's a whole new experience. admittedly, one that i like. i just feel, i feel like im treading in unknown water. to put it bluntly, you are a shark that likes to tug at me, pulling me under momentarily, then letting me go up for air.

help me to understand.... for surely i dont. though.. heh i doubt that you do either. for you, like me, are human. your mind and will controlled solely by your emotion. you cant deny this, nor can i. its something that we must both get used to. something, i suppose, we must both live with. we are involved in this amazing life together... so lets live it out. lets live it out hand in hand.

can you deny that you love me? i cant deny loving you. i truly wish i could... it would make everything so much easier. though, harder. burdensome really.. that is what life is... simply burdensome. does it get much easier? i hope it does. but i dont forsee that hapening. i do forsee life getting more and more difficult to handle. in fact, im sure it will.

ugh, i feel sick. i want nothing more than to hold your hand in mine... nothing more. youve robbed me of my sanity. since when, does a grown man long for the embrace of a hand? it truly is sick. im cold.. angry, distraught. i know not where to turn... for everywhere i look, i see your face. and not necessarily metaphorically speaking. i am being quite literal. i see you all the time, and even when i dont i cant stop thinking about you.

i am broken
for you are there.

Freedom Falacy

admit it! you are a vacuole of a human being. emotionless, living in the self-aggrandising glory that is your life.

you've fallen slave to freedom. a false dicotomy that you will never understand. that you don't want to understand. freedom is not your God. though you are prey to it.

you are the victim. victim to the american dream. uncle sam the gestapo and lady libert his bitch. involved in the convoluted dance that is your freedom.

open your eyes, you are not an idiot. though from here you seem to be. or at least you seem not to care. that is, you don't care about anything more than your freedom.

it makes me sick to think that this nation, that you hold so dearly, is full of the ignorant species known only as humanity. slaves to time. you worship right, and spit in the face of wrong. or what you perceive to be right and wrong.

what you were told is right, and wrong. you've been lied to. your parents, your friends, all living in this vast web of untruth. it tells you that freedom is the only way to live... tells you that if you choose to abandon freedom, for even a second, you will expereince hell on earth....

wake up... make your own opinions. go against the flow. stand up for what your heart knows is right.... don't let the fear of others bleed into your fragile mind.

you've fallen prey... you must break the hold, escape the mold.

you are humanity.